Friday, January 09, 2009


So, after accepting that my house will never live up to unrealistic expectations, it is time to look even closer to, so to speak.

Anti-resolution 2: I will accept that, no matter how old I am or how much money I make, I will always look like a sloppily-dressed student. As I get older, I'll simply be seen as a sloppily-dressed mature student. See, in my head, I have style, I have flair, I have personality, I don't just look like everyone else on the high street. In reality, I'm in ratty, one-size-too-big, slightly dumpy clothes, haven't had a hair cut in two years, and don't own any make-up. (Incidentally, this is why I hate pictures of myself- it interferes with the perfect me I have in my head. Cognitive dissonance- ouch.)

What I envy is the sheer “put together-ness” that some people achieve with their appearance. Everything fits, and is the correct length and proportions, and shows that the wearer has some personality. Especially around certain London neighbourhoods, I look around and wail to myself, Why not me?! I'm cool! I'm -still, relatively- young! I know what looks good!

But no. In real life, I prioritize comfort. I hate anything tight or binding. Given a pair of trousers, in my size, that fit and look good, and a pair one size up that is much more comfortable, but looks slouchy and slobby, I'll always go for the latter. I'm too lazy to accessorize: I wear scarves because it's cold out, and then I choose for warmth; I wear a belt only for the few pairs of jeans that are slightly too loose, and the fact that I have to get out the -yes, the- belt frequently means I can't be bothered with those few pairs of jeans; I haven't worn any earrings other than plain silver studs for years.

Now, wanting to dress better is not in itself a bad thing. The bad thing for me is that it means I buy clothes that I think I should wear, and so that beautiful silk camisole will just sit in the closet, un-touched, because I'll always grab the nice, comfy shirt next to it.

So. I will stop wasting my time, money and energy. I will cease comparing myself against some made-up picture in my head. I will Let It Go.


hana said...

You're just comparing yourself to the wrong people! Compared to me, I've always thought you look well made up. You always have nice coats and shoes especially. If you compare yourself to me, I don't even own a belt, I haven't worn earrings in years, and most of my clothes are either years old or you helped me pick out. I do own some make up though (thanks Grandma!), but almost never wear it.

But, more generally, I approve of the resolutions. It's no good comparing yourself to some standard that would take way too much work or money to achieve for no real benefit.

a simple yarn said...

Two points for the use of 'cognitive dissonance' in a post! But I knew the meaning of THAT one!

I was a bit surprised at this post, though, cuz I don't particularly have that perpetual-student look in my mind's eye. And anyone who can design such a lovely knit dress certainly has style and taste.