tacky souvenirs

When The Limey and I decided to cement our unholy union, we did it in New Zealand, which was conveniently so far away that no family members would be able to make it, even given months of notice. When the officiant (apparently wearing an Elvish Lord of the Rings-type ring himself) asked if we were going to include rings in the ceremony, we said, Uh...no?, and he said, Great, that's 5 minutes off of the ceremony then. Making it a two minute ceremony. Afterwards, we hung around and chatted to him for a quarter of an hour or so. Really nice, friendly guy (like all the Kiwis, really).

A couple weeks later in Auckland, and we were due to fly to San Francisco a few days later. Since we would never dream of lying to immigration, The Limey would tell them that he was in the US to visit his wife's family. At this point, we decided it might help things along if we at least tried to convey the appearance of marriage, at least to the average person. So we picked two simple jade bands from the little bowl full of them at the counter of the souvenir shop at Te Puia when we visited Rotorua. At the equivalent of EUR 6 per ring, those were the cheapest wedding rings ever.

Now, The Limey actually wears his ring all the time, more or less. I, however, hardly ever wear jewelry, and anyway, my parents never had wedding rings. So I wear mine if I happen to pass by my dresser on the way out and remember to put it on.

Well, fast forward a few months, and we are due to fly to the UK to have a wedding reception for his family. On the aircoach, halfway to the airport, I notice, of course, that I'd forgotten my ring! The Limey was not happy- his family were half convinced it was all fake, anyway. I figured they wouldn't notice, but he said, No, they'd want to see the rings. So we had to think fast. At the airport, we passed by a Carroll's gift shop- you know, the green one, that sells all kinds of Oirish shite. This one had a stand of jewelry! We were saved! It took two seconds to find one plain enough to pass as a wedding ring (plain Celtic knotwork), although at EUR 20, it's kinda pricey for a wedding ring, for us. But it was convincing enough for his family, anyway (although I think some of them did wonder why it didn't match his ring).

I'm strangely pleased that both my wedding rings are cheap, tacky, touristy souvenirs.